Can Your Adult Children Swim Financially?
From Money Lessons to Shared Direction
In "Will Your Inheritance Be a Life Jacket or a Legacy?" I explored what happens when the next generation starts planning around money they may one day receive. A companion question for the generation passing down wealth: Have we helped our adult children learn to swim financially?
Swimming financially puts habits, judgment, and confidence into practice. It means managing cash flow, balancing saving with enjoying life, and making thoughtful decisions about debt, investments, insurance, and estate planning. When the current changes, it means knowing how to adjust and when to ask for help.
Supporting the next generation begins with recognizing the money lessons they absorbed at home, sharing the purpose behind your decisions, and deciding what to learn and practice together.
What Did they See Financially?
Children observe how we handle money long before they understand our decisions. They notice what we spend on, what we worry about, and how we respond when someone needs help. They also notice whether money is discussed openly, argued about, or kept quiet.
A super saver may model discipline while unintentionally teaching that spending is unsafe. A parent who spends freely may model generosity and enjoyment while leaving financial limits unspoken. Adult children may adopt those habits or move in the opposite direction.
The lessons they absorbed may differ from what you intended to teach. They may remember a parent who always said, “We can’t afford it,” without knowing that the family was saving for something important. They may remember an abundance of gifts without seeing the debt behind them.
Start with a simple question: ‘What did you learn about money growing up in our family?’ Their answers can open a conversation about habits both generations still carry.
What Have You Shared Financially?
Your adult children may know what you own without understanding why you built it or how you envision using it. Sharing your mission, vision, and values helps them understand what your wealth stands for, what you hope it will make possible, and how you make decisions about it.
Your mission explains the purpose behind your wealth. Perhaps you worked to create stability, expand educational opportunities, care for family, or gain the freedom to choose meaningful work.
Your vision describes what you hope that wealth will make possible. You may imagine grandchildren graduating without debt, a family business continuing, or resources supporting causes you care about.
Your values guide the decisions along the way. How do you balance generosity with financial security? When do you take a risk? What makes an opportunity worth pursuing?
Share the experiences behind those choices, including the mistakes and tradeoffs. Then ask your adult children about their own mission, vision, and values. How do they envision using the resources they earn or may inherit? They may share your priorities and express them differently. Understanding those differences gives the family a stronger foundation for wealth decisions.
Where Do You Go From Here financially?
Even if these conversations were absent when your children were young, they can begin now. Begin with the financial lives your adult children are managing today. Ask what feels manageable, where they feel uncertain, and what they would like to learn. Respect their independence and let them help shape the conversation.
Turn those conversations into opportunities to practice: building a reserve, evaluating a workplace retirement plan, comparing debt repayment options, or understanding the responsibilities of a property they may someday inherit. Talk through the choices and introduce professional guidance when useful.
If you hope they will eventually help manage family assets, give them opportunities to learn while you can share your experience. Understanding the costs, commitments, and decisions attached to an asset is part of being prepared to receive it.
These conversations bring "Treat Wealth as a Family Business" to life. Make the purpose visible. Discuss the future. Help the next generation develop the judgment to participate and make their own decisions.
An inheritance can provide a life jacket. Teaching your adult children to swim financially gives them skills they can carry into whatever waters lie ahead.
Blog post written by Lazetta Rainey Braxton, MBA, CFP®, TRWC Founder, Visionary Guide & Wealth Strategist
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